Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Non-Phenomenon

It has come to my attention that there are many people or rather non-couples out there in exclusive relationships.Yup! You herad me...You want me to run that by you again? Well it's basically two people who are dating only each other but are not going out and not each other's boyfriend or girlfriend and claim to be single!Think about it and you would probably know at least one couple.

Doesn't make sense you say? well, my thoughts exactly but upon further examination i actually understand where these couples are coming from.
well somewhat anyways..
Let's examine this.

Typical example would be a boy and a girl who for whatever reason find that they are attracted to another boy or girl. But for reasons unknown, or known to them, they are scared and hesitant about getting into a relationship proper.

So what happens is that they start 'hanging out' and when you ask them if it's a date they say - no, we're just friends.And then they have a chat which usually goes like this, " i like you, we get along great, I'm so comfortable with you, I love spending time with you...etc" followed by " BUT I'm not comfortable with the label BF or GF" because based on past experience(s), they realize that expectations will increase and the relationship is doomed after the label is given.

Then there is the other scenario.They don't even say that they like you but call you all the time in the morning and at night and spend whole days with you...but once you start to think that you could be in a relationship proper, the " I'm not ready for a relationship, it is nicer like this/ Let's enjoy this magical moment/ Why think so much about the future/ Let just see how it goes" will rear it's ugly head bu your non-relationship will still continue. Reasons for this? Well maybe they just don't want to be responsible for another person's happiness.

Confusing? Yes. Works for them? Guess so.
These non-couples also call each other terms of endearment,"baby/saying/sweetie/darling/honey/dear?"-which let's face it, isn't binding in any way and doesn't cost them anything!

They also tell everyone they're single and only sometimes when cornered do they grudgingly admit they are dating someone, but more often than not, they deny it! This is because they also claim to want to keep their options open. Open to whom I say? they are only texting or calling their non-partners ALL the time!

Whatever reasons these people have; be it protecting themselves from being hurt, taking things very slowly after learning from past relationships, not wanting to share, not wanting responsibility, they are doing it their way. It's in no way better or worse, and more often than not, jealousy will rear it's ugly head and someone will eventually want it ti be the real deal. So the end result will still be the same - make it o break it.

So to those in non-relationships with their non-bf and non-gf..have a great non-relationship! You guysare in denial and it just takes some time before you both succumb to being in a real relationship and all it has to offer. Your friends won't make fun of you when you tell them, I promise you that..because to them , you were in one already in the first place.


* article taken from Malaysia's today, Oct 9 - 15 2008, no 269

3 comments:

Young said...

Wahliao... complicated. XD Yea, love is susah. Are you in such a relationship, dude? Horrrr... now i know why you never tell me.. rupa-rupanya daniel is the non-couple kind of guy! lol.

Daniel Hazmy said...

lol..no la haha...i just found this article kinda interesting so i just post it lo..

Song said...

I saw this article too.
nowadays many teenagers just like to have this kind of relationship which I hate it very much....erbss....so,does this mean I hate u and XXX?haha...