Saturday, June 26, 2010

Exams done, now what?

Hi guys! I'm back and I am free from my exams!! YEAY! I wouldn't say that for the past one month I have been studying very hard for my exams. Been slacking around a lot and after the exams I go "Damn, I could do better in those exams".Everyone would say that too don't you think? Well i don't want to keep on talking what has already been done. Let bygones be bygones yeah?

Before this I have been wanting this freedom from exams so much, anticipating joy and happiness but now those feelings are not materializing, not to the extent that I hoped for that is. I wonder why? I have 3 weeks holidays and there are so many things I want to do in a short time. Typical me. I've always wanting to do or have so much but in the end nothing get's done. I'm just greedy!

You want to know what plans I have for my holidays? Well I want to buy a guitar and let my fingers run wild strumming the strings producing sounds that are melodic to me ( maybe not to you and I don't care :D). I plan to go to the gym and some dancing classes as well to get fit and make my body flexible. I haven't been exercising properly after I gave up basketball. Apparently, my leg muscles are still weak, well, my whole body feel weak and I freaking don't like the feeling of being weak. Hopefully i will have the strength and willpower to accomplish this. Okay next on my list is to learn more on Photoshop and web design. I've been wanting to learn all these like ages ago and I never really get the time to learn properly and improve. I always blame that there is not enough time. I realize that but WHY? Why do I say that? Beats me. Then I want to go and explore Melbourne also, probably with some friends. That would be nice. You know , there is definitely something wrong with me. Definitely. I've been here like close to 5 months already and I haven't really been around much. Compared to my friends, they have been and explore to many places, know stuffs more than I do about Melbourne ,nice places to go and eat and stuff but ME? I'm still stuck in this city where every day that comes seems to be the first day that I stepped on this land : a foreign tourist. LOST AND DUMB. Oh and believe it or not I also want to cook. Yeah , cooking. I want to eat nice stuff as well T.T My diet foe the whole time I'm here has not been great I admit and it might have affected me in a way. Probably coupled with the effect of not exercising, these two might be the reason to why my body feel weak. Apart from those mentioned above, I would also want to study more on Japanese and watch,listen or read anything related to Japan like J-Drama , J-Pop and Anime. I think I have lots more to list down but then I wouldn't want to bore you reading this so let's move on.

As you can see so much I want to do in a short period of time. I doubt I would be able to do them all. Maybe some or maybe just one or two. No one knows.

I realized that whenever I am blogging, 99% of the time my posts will all be on events that I have been and rarely on how I feel. Normally, people blog about their feelings and pour their heart out as if the blog is diary. Well there are many kinds of blogs out there and deals with different areas such as food, politics , sports, tutorials and a lot more. So blogging does not necessarily have to be the medium to express oneself. OKAY, now you are lost with what I'm trying to put forth. Funny, because I think I am lost as well. Haha. I don't know how to put it but I just wonder why I don't express myself in my blog? Why only events? As I ponder on it longer I came with lots of theories. Probably I recorded more events on the blog because I know I would forget them someday and so this blog acts as a safe that keep hold of all my memories. Well, not all actually as I have not put up other events that have happened in my life and I regret it now. There are some that I just couldn't post it up or some that I find is not worthy of posting. Now I know that every little things count. The reason why I don't express myself out may be because that I'm not that kind of person who expresses himself out? As a person, I think I keep things to myself most of the times. I don't tell much stuff to my mom even when I was a kid. I wonder why too? Do I regret not sharing? HELL YEAH! But then, maybe this is who I am and I want to change it. Besides, I might be afraid of hurting others in my posts or afraid that others will know and stuff. It's complicated and I'm trying to express myself now. Believe me this is a hard feat for myself.

I have lots more to tell , share and complain and trust me I can go on and on without stopping.
I want to go on but I think that's enough for today. Cheers!
I want to be a better person.

1 comment:

Nadira Jeannot said...

Don't think too much. Just write whatever.
Just write what you want to write! If you like writing on events, then so be it! Your emotions are your own, to express or to not.